


Starry Eyed

by t0talcha0s



Series: LSPM Universe [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Caliborn is incarcerated, Calliope is dead., F/F, Nothing explicit, Past Character Death, This is canon adjacent and barely takes place in LSPM universe, don't need to read the other works in this series to enjoy/understand, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 11:47:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10741098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t0talcha0s/pseuds/t0talcha0s
Summary: Calliope was dead, she'd been murdered. Justice was served but Roxy never quite forgot, never quite forgave. Roxy wasn't sure she could. Roxy couldnt shake the blood.





	Starry Eyed

Roxy remembered blood often, it was hard not to. Calliope was murdered after all. 

The scene had been gruesome, Roxy hadn't seen all of it. She remembered the aftermath. 911 calls, rushing Callie and Dirk to the emergency room. Dirk's cut, lower left rib to the middle of his waist on the right side, wasn't deep enough to kill him just leave him wheezing and unable to work for a few weeks, and one hell of a scar. Callie on the other hand, the bullets had sunk too deep, internal damage. There was no way she could afford the surgery, it would kill her even if they tried. Roxy cried all night, wished her mother was still alive, she could have helped. 

Dirk told her what had happened the morning after, when he was recovering in a sterile room with his abdomen bandaged and unable to sit up.

"Caliborn" he said with confusion and grief, "I knew he was volatile, I knew he was dangerous I didn't think he'd do something like this." 

"Why were you with him, why was Callie with him?" 

"I was giving him his shirt back, the one I used to wear a lot, the green one. I thought it'd make me feel better, cut him off fully. What we had wasn't healthy Roxy but he was so soft sometimes I never thought he was capable of something like this. I actually thought I knew him and I loved him. I should have known." 

"Why did you bring Callie, why'd you risk her?" Roxy could tell Dirk was already putting the blame of this on himself but Roxy was too distraught to understand how he felt. Couldn't bother with telling him it wasn't his fault, maybe she thought it was. She was too confused. 

"I thought she'd be able to talk some sense into him if things got bad." Roxy laughed, more an upset scoff then a real laugh, taken aback by the sardonic irony. "But when things got bad we couldn't do much, I should have known. I should have been armed." 

"What good would hurting him do?" 

"I could have saved her." 

"You really think that?" Dirk didn't say much, told Roxy he was tired, couldn't talk anymore. 

The trial was quick, all the evidence was there, it didn't take more then one court date. Caliborn got life and Roxy kept Dirk from saying any goodbyes. Caliborn was a tricky one, loved to play games, and Dirk would over analyze their last moments until he wasted away from it. Roxy couldn't give Caliborn that satisfaction, couldn't let Dirk think dregs of their relationship remained. He would think so either way. She made sure Caliborn couldn't attend the funeral either. 

Calliope's funeral felt insincere, there was press and cousins who'd never met her and Dirk accidentally reopened his cut and bled all over his white dress shirt. The stain never did come out. Dirk had tried everything he'd read online for blood. Roxy suggested dying the shirt red, neither of them wore the shirt again. 

Roxy remembered these moments a lot. When she performed in her red lingerie, when Dirk shivered in his sleep and clutched his stomach, whenever she thought of the twins. She thought of them a lot, especially Calliope. She missed her more like crazy everyday, and feared loosing her memories of her even more: Soft kisses in the mornings, drowning out the arguments arisen from chess between Caliborn and Dirk with TLC movies, her chest thumped hollow for Calliope. 

Today it was something as stupid as simple as Dirk cutting his finger. He had been opening a packet of instant noodles with a pair of scissors, sliced too far and his thumb was gleaming pearly red again. 

"You miss him." Roxy accused, she knew it was rude, she was curious. 

" _who?_ " 

"Caliborn." Dirk's gazed moved from where he was putting pressure on his thumb. Stared intense at Roxy, she didn't like it when he was like this, she knew he felt the same. 

"What the hell are you talking about." 

"You miss him." 

"I don't." 

"I miss her." He looks insulted for a moment, argumentative shifts into neutrality. 

"I'm sorry, can you get me a bandaid." 

"It'll stop soon." They waited. It stopped. 

"I miss him." He said quietly once the microwave hummed around their noodles. "Of course I do. I smash the urge to visit him every week, it's hard not to miss him. But," he opened the microwave, checked on the noodles, put thirty seconds more on the timer. "But I miss her too. Maybe not as much as you," 

"Definitely not as much as me." 

"Definitely not as much as you, but I miss her too. I should have done more." Neither of them spoke until the microwave beeped loudly. 

"I knew you felt guilty about it." He stirred the noodles, bitter and bitterer. 

"It's not guilt." 

"How would you describe it then?" 

"I used to miss the feeling of blood on my hands," his voice distant, thoughtful. "Back at Rufioh's I was always down for a fight, you knew that. You had to pull me out of a lot of them, but I was ready and willing. Caliborn was like that all the time, fighting in everything, but it was never painful, never sour. It was fighting and it was sometimes bloody, he liked blood y'know, but it was always so sweet. He was really sweet Roxy." 

"I've been told." She tries not to clench her jaw. 

"But I didn't think about you and Callie, about how that wasn't right for you, about how his temper and my stubbornness was bound to lead to someone getting hurt. I used to miss being bloody, it was a satisfaction of mine. I don't get to think like that anymore." He hands Roxy a bowl of noodles he'd so lovingly prepared, the warm ceramic hurt her hands. 

"So that's how you'd describe it then?" 

"I think so." 

"Sounds like bullshit." 

"Wasn't worth the blood loss, wasn't worth Callie." 

"No it wasn't."

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao LSPM is such a disjointed universe now and it's basically all shit I write @2am. Sorry guys. This one feels right though. 
> 
> My Tumblr is Barefootcosplayer


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